NAATS Humor Page
The humor on this page is purely meant for entertainment and is solely the responsibility of me, the Webmaster. If you have any problems with it, please write me with your concerns. John S. Dibble
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2 Jan 2005 - Scott Morrissy
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12th April 2004
A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to
science. The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium
has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it
can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take
over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a
second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years; it does not
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of
the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
as "Critical Morass".
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February 12, 2003
Heard (read?) on the Yahoo NAATS chatboard:
"The FAA is so dysfunctional, if the building was on fire, they would find a way to drown."
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December 4, 2002
November 11, 2000
Political Humor
(The names have been changed to protect the innocent!)
I would appreciate the opportunity of Re-Doing my Football Picks of last week.
After MUCH thought, and aga'nizn, I realize now, it wasn't ME that was wrong with some of the silly picks I made las week, BUT it wuz the system !!
For instance, Take the Chiefs.....the way the ballot looked to me, they lined up and was playin' the Bengals....NO WAY if I had REALIZED they were playin' the Raiders, would I have picked them to WIN !!!!
Same thing with Miami, With Zack Thomas OUT, (Former Texas Tech Great, like myself, I might add), NO WAY would I have picked them to Win over whoever they played.
I think there were Two or Three More I must have got confused on too.
I would appreciate, and feel justified, in Ya'll letting me "ReDo" my Football Voting Picks from last week......
Sincerely to All-Ya"ll,
XX ...Jim "W".
1 June, 2000
Working at the Plane wash! (It seems a fire extinguisher exploded in a hangar.) Provided by Eli Morrissey
New Super-Stealth Plane. Provided by Eli Morrissey